Tag Archives: GOP

Boehner, GOP Pass Funding Scheme For Privatized Death Star

Washington, D.C. – April 1, 2013  

Republicans in Congress managed to slip a little noticed addendum to the budget bill that provides a funding scheme for a Star Wars-like Death Star to be operated and run by private interests. The language of the addendum would void the entire budget bill if removed and authorizes the funding plan if Congress fails to pass or kill the budget bill on it by April 4, 2013. The authors of the measure have created legislation where no action is required to fund the Death Star. House Speaker Boehner (Ohio-R) said:

“We are very comfortable with legislation that requires no action. It’s what we’ve been doing for years and we’re getting very good at it.” (Rep. Boehner)

Under the GOP plan, the project will use a large asteroid pushed into Earth orbit and mine out the luxury condos and living envioronment

Under the GOP plan, the project will use a large asteroid pushed into Earth orbit and mine the luxury condos and living environment out of existing rock

Boehner added that this a budget neutral bill as the initial government funding for the project is a loan that will be repaid by a private consortium over the term of the loan. Unnamed sources have confirmed the term of the loan to be 10,000 years. Representative and former Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) said,

“This is a win-win-win project. It provides hundreds of thousands of new jobs over the next 100 years, it will put America’s back in space again, and it is the mother of all defense programs.” (Rep. Ryan)

When asked about a rumored plan to use prisoners from thousands of American jails as cheap and expendable labor, Ryan replied, “Another win-win! We’ll decrease the prison population and lower construction expenses.”

President Obama was asked about the Death Star project at his press conference today to encourage consideration of discussion regarding of forming a committee to address global warming. The President said:

“You know, back in December we killed this idea and gave good reasons why it should be killed, which is probably why the Republicans ran with it.” (President Obama) 

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) chided the press for overstating the military function of the massive artificial satellite. McConnell said:

“Once again the liberal press has labeled this great project to re…re…uhm…what’s the word…reflect, that’s it! Uhm…what was I saying?” (Senator McConnell)

Senator John McCain (R-Arizona) then added:

“I believe that what Senator McConnell is trying to saying is that by referring to it as the ‘Death Star’ the liberal press has given a sinister impression of the purpose of this project. Most of this project will be dedicated to luxury condos for those who wish to use Earth’s Second Moon as their primary or secondary residence.” (Senator McCain)

It was reported by some unnamed sources, one of which was former Vice President Dick Cheney, that former Vice President Dick Cheney will be the President and CEO for the consortium building the artificial satellite. When questions were raised about someone of such advanced age running a 100-year project, Rep. Boehner said:

“We have that covered. We have identified five donors with the correct blood type and tissue match to keep the former Vice President healthy and active for at least the next twenty-five years. After that, we will have five more ready to go.” (Rep. Boehner)

When asked if the media would be allowed to interview the donors Boehner said:

“Oh they don’t know they are donors yet. This is a Homeland Security issue and they’ll know when they need to know.” (Rep. Boehner)

The six organizations will take the lead in the design, construction, operation, ownership of the project were identified are: Exxon, Koch Industries, KBR (the former subsidiary of Halliburton,) The Las Vegas Sands Corporation, the National Rifle Association (NRA), and Papa Johns Pizza.

Cheney said:

“These organizations are a perfect fit to carry out the construction and operation of this project. We have all our bases covered.” (Former VP Cheney)

When asked if the project will have a science component like the International Space Station, Paul Ryan answered:

“It will have a science component, but the science will be limited to the confirmation of the existence of God and how He create our universe. We’re not going to waste millions of dollars chasing after scientific hokum.” (Rep. Ryan)

Representative Steven King (R-Iowa) clarified:

“I think it’s important to understand the primary purpose of the Second Moon project. This is a place for certain people to escape Earth’s bounds and celebrate their success. It’s not the type of place that President Obama’s daughters will go for spring break.”

The project is tentatively scheduled for completion by the 2nd Quarter of 2110.

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3 Reasons Why Boehner Shouldn’t Be Speaker

Speaker John Boehner, The Symbol of Failure

Speaker John Boehner, The Symbol of Failure

On January 3, 2013, the United States House of Representatives will re-elect Representative John Boehner as the Speaker of the House. Whether or not he merits the Speakership is debatable; however, he has been a good servant to his financial backers and those financial backers also financed the campaigns of the same group of Republicans who will decide Boehner’s fate. They cannot vote for someone else for Speaker without biting the hand of the people who gave them money.

That said, there are good reasons for Republicans to not re-elect John Boehner as Speaker of the House. Three top reasons are as follows:

Reason 1:  An Icon of Failure

Gallup Poll - Approval Rating for Congress

Gallup Poll – Approval Rating for Congress

In August of this year the approval rating for Congress dropped to 10 percent for the only the second time. The first time was in February of this year. Recently named the ‘Do Nothing Congress,’ they have been the most non-productive Congress in seventy years. Some might blame both political parties; however, two years ago Republicans announced that their strategy would be to block President Obama from passing any significant legislation. Their success at this has resulted in the failure of Congress to do the job for which they were elected.

As Speaker of the House and the leader of the Republicans in Congress, Boehner is the symbol of all that has failed in Washington. November’s election demonstrated the public’s dislike for the tactics used by Republicans to obstruct progress when President Obama won every battleground State except North Carolina, and swept 332 electoral votes when only 270 were necessary. Republicans were also turned out of the Senate and House as Democrats gained significant ground in Congress.

Despite this stinging defeat, Boehner continued to use the same tactics of obstruction by spending this month leading America to the Fiscal Cliff. The irony is that Boehner has not only lost the confidence of the American people, he has lost the confidence of his own party. 

In late December he attempted to move Republicans out of the hot seat by proposing a ‘Plan B’ that would have not passed the Senate, but would have given him the opportunity blame Democrats in the Senate for sending America over the Fiscal Cliff. It was a tactic that might have succeeded except for the betrayal of Boehner by his own party when he had to withdraw the legislation because it was not going to pass for lack of Republican support.

Boehner is a symbol of failure and he will carry the stamp of disgrace on his sleeve into the next two years. That means the Republicans will have to overcome Boehner’s public image in 2014 if they re-elect him as Speaker now.

Reason 2:  Opportunity of New Blood
If someone else were to be elected as Speaker they would start fresh without all the political baggage Boehner brings with him. Boehner is the uncle no one wants at their family event. The right-wing extremists think he’s too liberal and the rest of the Republicans in the House are just glad they aren’t Boehner. He is seen as deceptive, condescending, and the pawn of the filthy rich. Almost anyone other than Representative Eric Cantor or Representative Paul Ryan would have a better public image to start with than Boehner.

Republicans are facing multiple legislative losses in the next session. The best hope is to drop Boehner’s obstructionist style and begin rebuilding the respect that Republicans have lost in the last two years. By working with the Democrats in early 2013, a new Republican Speaker could regain negotiation strength during the remainder of the 113th Congress. That will increase Republican’s chances in 2014 and put conservatives back on more equal footing. With Boehner as Speaker, Republicans may face humiliation after humiliation as the right wing extremist wag Boehner’s tail during the next session.

Reason 3:  Shock Value
Boehner’s re-election will be seen as a business-as-usual when no one wants a repeat of the 112th Congress. A new Speaker will have a shock value that might give hope to Americans. While a majority of Americans do not support the right-wing extremist political agenda, Boehner has continued to pander to them in order to keep a majority. That majority is based on offending most of the other Representatives and a majority of American on a regular basis. A new Speaker might decide to turn the tables on the right-wing extremist by adopting a more moderate view. That would leave the extremists to either fall in line with the Republican mainstream or accept that America will be under rule by the Liberals for the near future.

Few Options Leave A Bleak Future
Sadly, Republicans are bound by fate and money to re-elect John Boehner as Speaker of the House of Representatives. This is like watching a train wreck in slow motion with the forces in play too strong to stop, but the results of disaster obvious to all who witness it. The outcome will be a deepening dislike for Republicans and their tactics and that will result in the 2014 elections continuing the down slide of conservative participation in American politics.

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America Held Hostage: DAY 716

John McCain still bitter about 2008?

Sure we’ll cooperate with the President….when he becomes a Republican

Republican Senator John McCain promised that a Susan Rice’s nomination for Secretary of State will be blocked. Republican Senator Mitch McConnell says that he has a mandate for Republicans to push America over the fiscal cliff. Republican Representative John Boehner says compromise with Democrats is now possible if President Obama gives up the tax increases favored by most Americans. At least we know that the wealthy, old, white men in Congress haven’t changed.

After Republicans had major wins in the House and Senate in 2010, 42 Republican Senators signed a pledge to gridlock Congress and defeat any attempt by President Obama to move the country forward. That was 716 days ago.

Senator Mitch McConnell: “Election, what election?”

After shocking losses in the Senate, losses in the House that defied the gerrymandering of State Republican legislatures, and Mitt Romney’s loss of the century for President, the GOP is determined to pretend the 2012 election did not happen. That means America can expect the Republicans in Congress to offer more of what they gave us in the last two years.

Perhaps Senator John McCain will once again suggest another corporate tax holiday so wealthy white men can buy private planes and yachts. Perhaps Senator Dean Heller will again attempt to pass a law that will prohibit millionaires from receiving Food Stamps. Perhaps Representative John Boehner will again suggest that the Department of Justice pay Republicans to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act. Whatever they do, we can expect that they will hold America hostage to make sure nothing works in Washington D.C.

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What America Must Do: Step 1 – Silence the Wackos in Politics

America is no place for rule by stupid people

Conservative ideals are meant to balance liberal ideals. It is the ying for the yang. When conservative and liberal positions are debated the correct course for the country is usually the result. Unfortunately, people like Karl Rove, Sheldon Adelson, Rupert Murdoch, and David Koch want to kill liberal contributions in politics so that only conservatives determine our country’s path. These people have used their massive financial and commercial resources and orchestrated an elaborate slander campaign of liberals by empowering the most extreme and gullible citizens with a lynch mob mentality. The right-wing wacko takeover of the Republican party has destroyed the rational conservatives in politics and crippled our country.

Richard Mourdock and extremist conservatives want 100% of America run by the stupidest 30%

Before Representative Richard Mourdock of Indiana demonstrated his stupidity about God and rape he made it clear that Republicans should rule America without listening to anyone else’s point of view. He said:

“…bipartisanship ought to consist of Democrats coming to the Republican point of view…”

That is what right-wing extremist call “reaching across the aisle.” Mourdock is representative of the radical conservatives that believe 47% or more of Americans should be silenced and slaves to conservative rule. America cannot move forward with these type of people in political office.

Rational conservatives must reassert themselves and take back the Republican party. As reasonable, thinking people reclaim mainstream conservatism, the wackos will fade back under the rocks where they belong. Already people are distancing themselves from Tea Party affiliation, a trend that will continue if honorable conservatives will step forward and kill off the weeds of extremism that has taken over their garden.

Liberals should also be wary of extremist in their garden. America fails when we allow the stupidest people to speak for us, regardless of ideology.

Links to:

What America Must Do:  Step 2 – An Extreme Makeover of Government at All Levels
What America Must Do:  Step 3 – Restore Government Revenue and Fair Taxation
What America Must Do:  Step 4 – Balanced Budget By 2015, Debt under 50% of GDP by 2020
What America Must Do:  Step 5 – Restart a Federally Run Space Program
What America Must Do:  Step 6 – Reinvent Higher Education

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And This Was the Best Conservatives Could Offer?

Mr. Insincere

For President – Eddie Haskell?
Willard Mitt Romney is a poor choice for President by any standard. Sure he’s better that Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain, or almost any of the other right-wing wackos that ran for President this time, but Romney is an embarrassment to America. He will say anything to get a vote, but we all know that is just a rich man who is trying to fool enough of the people enough of the time to get elected. In a party that has great people like Colin Powell, they serve up a smarmy equivalent of Leave It To Beaver’s Eddie Haskell for President. Epic fail.

Paul Ryan is not an alien from another world…as far as we know.

For Vice President – Paul Ryan?
Really? Ryan is a person who is a deceiver. If Satan had Apostles, Paul Ryan would be his Number 1. He, like so many conservatives, is owned and operated by America’s major corporations and his interest is in exploiting our country, not serving. 

Charles P. Pierce  wrote and interesting piece on Ryan’s family history on the Esquire Politics Blog. He definitely not worthy of the second highest office in the land…or any other office.

Senator Dean Heller making sure he’s seen at Reno Air Races crash news conference (2011)

For Senate from Nevada – Dean Heller?
When Governor Brian Sandoval appointed Dean Heller to replace the adulterous Senator John Ensign, his seat in the House of Representatives forced the cash-strapped state to hold a special election, which cost over $1 million. Nevada certainly hasn’t got its money’s worth. One of Heller’s first official acts was to propose legislation that would prevent millionaires from receiving food stamps. He must have done it as a joke, but nobody laughed.

Heller is a former Bank of America consultant and stock broker, but now he works for people with even more money. If politicians had to wear suits that identified all their sponsors like race car drivers, then he would have a suit covered in oil, mining, and gaming corporations. He is bought and paid for and the lowly citizens of Nevada are not even on his radar.

Heller is the guy who always shows up at major news events like the Reno Air Races crash last year to stand near the Governor as if to say, “see me, I’m here, aren’t I great!”

Richard Mourdock says the pregnancy from rape is what “…God intended..”

For Senate from Indiana – Richard Mourdock and for the House of Representatives from Missouri – Todd Akin?
Indiana and Missouri have many highly qualified conservatives that could be representing the Republican party as candidates for federal office; however, it would be difficult to find two less deserving to fill the job than Richard Mourdock and Todd Akin. Both seem to be weeds in the flower patch and yet both still may win despite their bumbling, non-factual statements about rape and pregnancy. If either or both win then the stupid people of the world can rejoice that they are well represented in the United States Congress.

2012 Idiots on Parade by Karl Rove
The lack of quality conservative candidates doesn’t stop at federal political office. Many Republican state candidates are embarrassments to the country in their own right, but why is the GOP field so bad? That brings us to one name, Karl Rove. 

Rove’s laughing now.

Karl Rove is the God of Conservative Candidates. He decides who will gain millions of dollars in advertising support and who won’t. With that money comes the strings. Independent minded, critical thinking people is not what Karl Rove seeks. If you are going to be supported by the Republican party this year, you have to be Karl Rove’s political Boy Toy. Rove’s money comes from Big Oil and mega corporations and they expect payback.

That has led to a slate of corporate Yes Men who are supposed to stay within a script. Like a gang of henchmen, Rove’s army of zombies march across the nation with a brain eating agenda of kill the government, put women down, and give our money to the rich. Rove arms his candidates with some of the most distasteful tactics in politics today.  

One of Rove’s typical tactics of taking the conservative candidate’s weaknesses and then running ads accusing the rival candidate of the conservative candidates weakness. If his candidate is a partisan obstructionist, then Rove’s team creates an ad that the Democratic candidate is partisan and only votes with their party. Blaming the faults of his candidate on the other confuses the issue and makes a response to the accusation almost impossible.

How long can Rove keep this up? It depends on the results of this election. If Rove’s candidates win then America can expect to see the same strategy in future elections. If his candidates lose then perhaps true conservatives can take their party back from Karl Rove and his corporate sponsors and re-build it into something more than a group of Tea Party zombies.

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Romney’s Concession Speech

November 6, 2012  4:34 PM EDT

I know the polls have not closed in…well, anywhere, but the results of this election are obvious, even to a multi-millionaire like myself. We’ve lost…again.

Many complained that we lied and deceived the voters in an attempt to be elected. What were we supposed to do? Our choice was to acknowledge that President Obama did a great job in tackling the mess we created and began rebuilding the country, OR lie. We were not going to win any elections by telling the truth!

This campaign was built on the idea that we could fool people long enough to be elected President. As I said in May, 47% of Americans are too smart to be tricked by our twisting of facts, and we knew that 30% of Americans would vote for me no matter how bad we ran our campaign. So this campaign came down to sucking in less than 23% of the electorate. Unfortunately for us most of the citizens of this country are not as stupid as we had hoped. 

But you have to credit us for our bravado in our attempt to buy and lie our way into the White House:

GOP Success: Stopping America’s Recovery

  • The Economy:  Our fault, but that didn’t stop us from blaming President Obama. We almost convinced America that President Obama failed because he didn’t create full employment, didn’t pave streets in gold, nor had honey flow out of our taps in four years. 
  • Unemployment:  This one is funny, You’ll laugh. We told people that the wealthy are …ready for this..THE job creators! I know, I know. How stupid do you have to be to know that private business loves high employment. Low unemployment means employees can demand better pay, better benefits, better working schedules and all those other headaches that come when too many people have a good job. Employers now have employees by the short hairs and we’re never letting go.
  • The Recovery:  It was remarkable under the circumstances, and conservatives fought hard to keep it from happening. There are no liberals in Big Oil and they worked with us to keep prices high this year. Still, no joy.
  • The Debt:  The truth is that the Bush-era tax cuts cut knees out of the federal budget. That and two mega-wars, plus the devastation caused when my conservative banking friends wrecked the economy. Sure the stimulus and bailouts increased the nation’s debt, but none of that would have been necessary if conservative policies hadn’t put all the ingredients together for an economic disaster.
  • Big Government:  We made it sound like President Obama made massive increases in government, and yet it was George Bush that created the TSA, and other massive increases in the size of federal government. Still, we just have to say ‘big government’ to stupid people and they start to sweat. It’s kind of fun.
  • Obamacare:  We were blessed to have a major Democratic lead program that wouldn’t be effective until 2014. We could paint it to be anything we wanted and we wanted it to be evil. Who could argue with me?
  • Foreign Policy:  Conservatives are warmongers. We love a good fight. We love a bad fight. We love it anytime we can send our young adults and technology to overseas to beat somebody up. I thought we had President Obama beat on foreign policy, but I sort of screwed it up in London…and Israel….and Poland. If you don’t like my foreign policy you can kiss my ass!

We also did a good job of ignoring what we didn’t want to talk about.

  • The Past:   We had a Republican National Convention and we didn’t even invite either of the Bush’s. We didn’t need to highlight the past and good riddance to both of them.
  • Taxes:   We didn’t want to talk about my taxes. As Ann said, if we let people see our taxes, “they will attack us!” Sure a President should have a thick skin, but who needs that when we can deny and  hide? Richard Nixon taught me that.
  • Family History:  I don’t want to discuss this, even now.
  • My First Name:  Seriously, who would vote for someone named Willard?
  • Women:  We probably should have been more sensitive to women’s issues, but really, who cares? Right Ann?
  • Education:  Smart people don’t vote for idiots. Why did you think we didn’t want to talk about education?
  • Crime:  We conservatives have always pushed a ‘lock’em up and throw away the key’ policy on crime. The problem is that it cost $30,000/year to house one inmate, and after they reach 55 years old, inmate costs go up to $60,000/year because of increasing medical issues. More inmates, higher costs. Who knew?

I know my mouth got this campaign into a lot of trouble, but honestly how can you only blame me for failed policies that are the very definition of being a conservative. Like everything else, it was the fault of the Democrats that I didn’t get elected as President.

Well, I guess I should end this before I say something stupid. I hope all of you feel better now that you won’t have Ann and I to kick around anymore. 

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Lack of Quality Jobs Killing Nevada’s Future

No degree? No experience? Welcome to Nevada where you have no future.

For years Nevada conservatives have waved the banner of the ‘business friendly myth‘ that low taxes and minimal regulation will attract new business to Nevada. The truth is that ‘business friendly’ does little, if anything, to attract quality jobs and makes this former Mexican province one of the worst in the nation in societal quality-of-life factors.

Poor Job Quality
Typical experiences of Nevada’s unemployment disaster indicate a long-term unemployment crisis and not a temporary business downturn.

In May of this year a master’s degree engineering graduate from the University of Nevada wanted to keep his family in the state but had to move his family to San Jose, CA to find employment. Another unemployed resident couldn’t find a job because she was “overqualified.” Her skills consisted primarily of a stable work history managing a telephone answering service. In Nevada there are no jobs now nor in the near future that will be available for anything but the lowest qualified worker.

Sheldon Adelson: Godfather of Conservative Politics

While most of the country has experienced some recovery from the massive job losses between 2008 and the first quarter of 2010, Nevada has not, despite the assurances of Governor Brian Sandoval. Conservatives point to wealthy Nevadans as the ‘job creators’ who will be the source of new jobs. Instead wealthy people like casino mogul Sheldon Adelson have poured millions of dollars into campaigns for conservative politicians ( $70 million so far,) while the citizens of the state have borne the impact of the unemployment crisis.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal article by Ed Vogel stated that of the few new Nevada jobs available in the future, most will be low-paying, low-skill, non-career jobs. The top four fastest growing jobs in Nevada are 1) retail salespeople, 2) waiters/waitresses, 3) cashiers, 4) gaming dealers.

These type of jobs do not provide for a career with a progressive future and leave the worker with little spendable income after basic living costs. The highly qualified worker has little hope of finding a job that matches his/her abilities. This creates a ‘Catch-22′ scenario. Educated, skilled workers can’t find work in Nevada so they go elsewhere and businesses with high quality jobs want quality workers, which Nevada can’t retain for a lack of quality jobs.

Nevada is a perfect storm of failure under conservative ‘business friendly’ policies which financially benefit those who allegedly are the ‘job creators,’ but leave the citizens in a ‘unfriendly’ job environment.

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